


There's a Hole in My Soul

by brahe



Category: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: M/M, because i had to, but also when thomas runs into the maze, this is basically about newt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-03-13 07:14:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3372554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brahe/pseuds/brahe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Newt's existence is fragile.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There's a Hole in My Soul

**Author's Note:**

> I'm beginning to realize I can't write summaries. Oh well. Basically this is just a thing about Newt's feelings and that part where Thomas runs into the Maze because feelings. It's kind of a mess but enjoy!
> 
> Title from the Bastille song Flaws.

The thoughts were always there, that he wasn't good enough, that he would fail them. The Glade was shiny enough on the outside, but being there for three years had taken a large toll on him. Memories of running haunted him, following him like a ghost and flaring up whenever he walked. The ate away at his soul, taking tiny piece by tiny piece and sometimes he wondered when they would win. He tried to keep it to himself because Alby and Minho had enough to worry about without having to deal with his emotional phantoms.

  
He found ways to deal, like going for walks when he couldn't sleep and helping out the Gladers. Practically being in charge of the group helped too; there was hardly down time. Newt made it his goal to ask after the others and make sure they were all okay, because it kept his mind off himself and prevented any of them from having to go through this.

  
And then Thomas showed up. No Greenie had ever been like him, asking questions about everything and immediately wanting to go into the Maze. Newt found himself intrigued, curious as to why. No one had wanted to be a Runner before.

  
They were both up late one night, sitting quietly next to each other when Newt asked why. Thomas just shrugged and said he wanted to get everyone out. Newt wasn't sure how to respond. Part of him was thankful, and part of him was angry because _what did he think we've been doing for the past three years?_ But Newt stayed quiet and eventually they fell asleep.  
When Thomas ran into the Maze, he felt another piece of his soul slip away. He'd quickly grown attached to the kid, and then he sacrificed himself for Alby and Minho. Newt wanted to be angry, so angry, but he couldn't find the energy. He was just overwhelmingly sad.

  
The doors opened the next morning and Newt almost passed out with relief. The anger had found him now and he was ready to shout and yell at the three of them, especially at Thomas. But Newt stood quiet as Minho and Thomas returned to the Glade, and Newt found he lost his voice at the look Thomas was giving him. He walked towards him with a purpose, and when he was standing no more than four inches away, he took Newt's face in his hands and kissed him, hard. Newt mentally stumbled for a moment before he was kissing him back, tangling fingers into Thomas's hair. It was passionate, angry, and apologetic, and for the first time since he jumped, Newt felt his soul beginning to put itself back together.

  
Thomas pulled back, breathing hard, and searched Newt's eyes. He nodded a few times and a brief, relieved smile crossed Thomas's face before Newt kissed him again. He wanted to get lost in this, in Thomas, and forget everything wrong with his life, but then Minho tapped his shoulder and reality crashed back in. He turned to look at the Asian, still clinging to Thomas because _he's alive, he's here, he's not dead, he made it._ Minho smirked at them and began to explain the situation with Alby. Newt put back on his command persona because they all needed someone with a level head to keep things running, and that responsibility fell to him. But he kept Thomas's hand tight in his as they walked to where Thomas had tied up Alby, determined to keep whatever they just started because it had very quickly become his salvation.


End file.
